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10 Minutes of Random, Unfiltered Thoughts

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ready, Set, Done!.”

What to say today? I only have ten minutes, and considering I only woke up about twenty of those ago, I’m fighting through the brain fog to string coherent words together.

My hands are freezing, a normal symptom of waking up for me. My vision is blurry, and there is a weird ache in my head that will hopefully go away without my daily dose of caffeine (I’m trying desperately to stop my addiction in its tracks!). My thyroid doesn’t seem to be working too well at the moment, my hormones too low to help my body function. Maybe I’ll go drink a large glass of cranberry juice to help counteract that.

Natural cures versus pharmaceutical ones? I have no clue if it’s going to work, but I stopped taking my meds almost a month ago, and I’m not in a coma yet, so hopefully I’m on to something.

I’m obviously in a macabre mood this morning! I better do a 360, because my man is coming over soon to spend some time with me before I head into work. He usually makes me feel a lot better, just by being here. It’s crazy what knowing that you have someone who cares so much for you does to your emotions.

There’s three minutes on the clock, and my phone is blowing up. It’s most likely him, but I’m on a mission to complete this prompt. (Should I even be looking at the clock to see how much time I have? Oh, well, it’s done and over with.)

I’m hoping today goes well, and I’m ready for the kicking weekend that we have planned, even though those concert tickets we were waiting for were sold out before we can get a hold on any. There will be lots of hula hooping, long walks in the woods, and who knows what. I’m in need of a three-day weekend! Work is too much lately, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I get paid way too little to deal with way too much. (Isn’t that with most jobs though? Especially with those who deal with serving people?)

This is purely me at 10 in the morning.

The Masseur in the Clown Suit

Yet again, I’m beginning a post inspired by a conversation with my boyfriend. (Perhaps I have found that mythical beast known as a Muse?)

Last night, I made the astounding discovery that my already wonderful man has a hidden talent for massage, and that he had at one point been highly interested in becoming a massage therapist if things had turned out differently. Once I came to my senses after he had used his magic on my tensed up shoulder muscles, our talk turned to how he could seriously use this talent to open up a day spa of some sort…. and I made a joke about how he could dress up in a clown suit and bring an entirely different meaning to massage “therapy”. I mean, what better way to get over your fear of clowns than by getting a massage from one?

Putting aside the clown jokes, this talk got me thinking about what I want to do with my life in the near future. There are so many things that I’ve wanted to accomplish, but I’ve always stopped short because of the fear that I couldn’t make it or because I would burn myself out trying to do it perfectly. I know I’m not the only person guilty of this, and it makes me wonder how much stuff we all could accomplish if we just believed in ourselves a bit more. I sincerely believe that mind over matter is a legitimate thing, and we all need to try to harness that power before it’s too late.

I realize we have an entire month ahead of us before we are supposed to be starting our New Year’s Resolutions, but maybe we should all try to get a head start. I’m ready to lay mine out on the table:

In the year 2015, I will face that massage therapist in a scary clown suit, and I will not talk myself down from achieving new goals. I will take the necessary steps towards bettering myself, whether it be helping others, learning new skills, or simply taking a few days to just analyze my process and be ok with how I am doing. 2015 will be my year of enlightenment, and, maybe, of becoming a full fledge adult. I am young, wild, and free, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be mature about the decisions I make towards the rest of my future.

What are some of your resolutions for the New Year?

Life, Death, and What Comes After….

My boyfriend and I had an amazing conversation last night. Neither one of us knows how we came upon the topic of life and death, but we were both surprised (and maybe a little excited) to find that we both believe very similarly about what happens to us after we pass away.

I have always believed in reincarnation. I have some very clear “memories” of my past lives, in the form of intense recurring dreams, and my love of history stems from my curiosity about those dreams. Being raised in a home where religion or spiritual beliefs of any kind weren’t discussed (my mother is agnostic, and my stepfather is only Baptist when the mood strikes him), I never spoke much about what I saw or felt in my dreams. I definitely didn’t discuss the moment in fourth grade when my history teacher introduced us to the horrors of the Holocaust, and I realized that I had been dreaming about Auschwitz for years before I knew anything about the topic. It was something that I kept hidden away. My parents didn’t believe enough and, because I live in the Bible belt, other people would have labelled me as blasphemous.

Which is why, when my wonderful boyfriend claimed that he believed we were all made up of energy that is recycled until we find true happiness, I nearly cried with joy. (Ok, I wouldn’t have cried, but I sure as hell got excited!) We don’t believe the exact same thing (his line of thought goes more towards the whole time is irrelevant ideology and that we all just live this life over and over again until we either get it right or turn into misguided, evil entities looking for a body to take over. Yes, demons. Which, actually, makes some sort of sense to me), but the fact that we could discuss this without wanting to argue about it has to say something about our relationship!

I would love to know other people’s thoughts on the subject. Do you believe that when we die, we are reincarnated into something/someone else? Do you believe we go to another plane of existence? Do you think when it’s over, we are just gone? Please, feel free to discuss this! (No hate-mongering or bashing other people’s views, please. We’re all adults here. We know how to be civil.)